all we have is now (etherealecstacy) wrote,
all we have is now

emotional decontamination

so much hatred. so much pretension. so much noise. BUSHWICK, you're so fake fancy i want to kill myself sometimes. your stupid high rent is like spitting acid on our eyes. gentrification is the ruiner of lives.

brain, just shut up for a minute.

there are times when i just want to shut some people out for being cold and mean. WHY? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? i LOATHE people who feel like they have some sense of privilege. fucking spoiled brats EVERYWHERE.

going through phases. frustrations. mostly emotional frustrations.

i miss my friends. they are the safest place on earth. they know me and love me and are proud of me.

i want to be a machine so badly. thinking about suicide so many times. hurting is a part of life and one needs to stop analyzing things all the time to not go crazy. i want to stop feeling so much for this fucked up world. people like me who care too much/have so much love/obscenely polite get devoured alive, scrutinized and sent to the fire.

how can you not feel sad about war and suffering?


i sound like a fucking teenager.

some days are good, some days are bad. i am holding to art and music for dear life. art and music are saving my life right now. and adeline. THANK YOU craigslist for giving her to me. she's like a package deal where all of my friends have successfully fit into her tiny body.

there's something wrong with my heart.
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