brain, just shut up for a minute.
there are times when i just want to shut some people out for being cold and mean. WHY? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? i LOATHE people who feel like they have some sense of privilege. fucking spoiled brats EVERYWHERE.
going through phases. frustrations. mostly emotional frustrations.
i miss my friends. they are the safest place on earth. they know me and love me and are proud of me.
i want to be a machine so badly. thinking about suicide so many times. hurting is a part of life and one needs to stop analyzing things all the time to not go crazy. i want to stop feeling so much for this fucked up world. people like me who care too much/have so much love/obscenely polite get devoured alive, scrutinized and sent to the fire.
how can you not feel sad about war and suffering?
FUCK YOU WORLD.
i sound like a fucking teenager.
some days are good, some days are bad. i am holding to art and music for dear life. art and music are saving my life right now. and adeline. THANK YOU craigslist for giving her to me. she's like a package deal where all of my friends have successfully fit into her tiny body.
there's something wrong with my heart.